I Found My Matthew Crawley

My Downton Abbey FanFiction Dream

I have always had the most intricate dreams, and usually remember them, too. Last night I had a Downton Abbey dream with Lady Mary and Matthew Crawley, and it’s definitely one for the books. Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched Downton and plan on it, this post might not be for you!

I am Lady Mary, unhappily married to a prince. Hearing “Princess Mary” has a nice ring to it! As the dreamer, I don’t know the full back story, but I do know the marriage was out of obligation or duty.

The dream picks up a few months after the marriage, and my parent’s (Lady and Lord Grantham, duh) are still staying at my new home. I am devastatingly unhappy, but my parents are inexplicably oblivious. Every time they raise the topic of leaving for Downton, I squash the idea and encourage them to stay “just a little longer.”

The only person that notices my unhappiness is Matthew Crawley. In this offshoot of Downton reality, Mary and Matthew never reconciled or married. Oh, and Matthew is alive. Yay!

The Evil Prince

Of course, I’m too proud to admit to my parents that this marriage to the Prince is a mistake. My dad gifts me with a silk chemise (weird gift for a dad to give to his daughter, I know) to celebrate the marriage. My only thought is, “Too bad the Prince will rip it.”

I have a vision of wearing the night gown with Matthew (dun, dun dunnnn!!), and feeling truly happy for the first time. The vision feels like a memory, not a daydream. Matthew, noble Matthew, says this is a mistake, it should never happen again, and now he must leave my new home. But he doesn’t.

Later that night, the Prince destroys the chemise as I predicted he would. He’s aggressive and unkind, and as the dreamer I now understand the depth of Mary’s sadness.

Xavier, What Are You Doing Here?

This is the part where the dream gets really trippy. It’s like I (Kelsey) become intertwined with the dream, and dream-Mary and myself become one person. Now the dream alters, and I realize not only am I married to the Prince, but there’s some arrangement where I’m also married to my real-life husband, Xavier. Cause that’s not weird.

Since I was already married or intended to be married with Xavier at the time the Prince declared his interest in me, he has agreed to let me marry both. Not sure why that would be a thing, but let’s roll with it.

Off to the Hospital

At this point, I lose a little bit of my first person point of view. I know a few things to be true: Mary is pregnant, and Matthew has been taken to the hospital in critical condition, though I have no idea what happened to him. Mary is terribly distraught, and the entire family waits at the hospital. She’s crying, explaining she and Matthew just had a fight, and she can’t bear that they might part on bad terms.

Since visitors aren’t allowed, Mary offers to run back to the house to pick up a change of clothes for the family. At this point, I switch back to first person as Mary/Kelsey.

Breaking Xavier’s Heart

Xavier escorts me back to the house. He says something about how much he loves me, and if it weren’t for me, he’d be off galavanting, living an aimless life. It’s this moment I decide to break his heart. Man, I’m heartless!

“I told Matthew I loved him.” Xavier stares at me blankly.

“I told him six months ago,” I continue. “And he still loves me, too.”

I unveil that this hospital trip had been a ruse. Matthew isn’t really at the hospital. While everyone sits in the hospital waiting room, he’s already snuck back to the house to pack his things, and he and I are to run away together because the baby is his.

As the dreamer, I know it’s impossible to know whether or not Matthew is really the father, but Matthew feels just as strongly as I do that this evil Prince cannot be trusted to raise a child.

Xavier understands and lets me go. What a guy.

Oddly, and rather conveniently, there is a train station right behind the house, so Xavier hops on board immediately and departs.

Matthew Crawley is Alive!

My perspective switches to Matthew’s point of view as he is sneaking into the house earlier that day. It’s dark, but he can tell a few people are home. Of course, the Prince is at home because he doesn’t care about Matthew’s wellbeing. Jerk.

He sneaks past the kitchen, aware of every sound, and almost makes it into his bedroom door when a light flicks on. Down the stairs come a young girl and her tutor. They don’t see him.

Once they’re at work studying, he slides quietly into his room unnoticed.

Caught by the Prince

Back to Mary’s POV! Mary is now with Edith. Upon walking into Matthew’s bedroom, we discover almost all of his belongings are gone! We learn from a servant that if Matthew survives, he is to be taken home to Downton live with his elderly father. I guess in this reality, he has a dad but no mom!

Edith decides she must have something of Matthew’s to remember him by, so she starts rifling through his drawers to find a knick knack. Nosy Edith. I play along, going through his shirt drawer, which oddly has a few graphic tees inside, along with a pair of emoji boxers. Clearly, my dream is now dissolving.

The Prince walks in, catching me with one of his shirts in my hand. I explain ourselves, using Edith’s reasoning, emphasizing the part where Matthew might die. I sell him the same story I gave my family, that I’m terrified he might die just after our big fight.

He seemingly believes me, but I have a sneaking suspicion he’s onto me.

Happily Ever After?

And sadly, this is where the dream ends! In my humble opinion, Matthew and Mary totally get away with it. Matthew escapes on the train, and Mary follows as soon as the Prince is otherwise occupied.

When I woke up, I felt a tinge of sadness that I broke Xavier’s heart. I tried to rationalize this storyline in my head where there were two good men in Mary’s/my life, and I had to choose between the two. Naturally, Mary would choose Matthew over any other person in the universe.

And that’s when I realized. Xavier is MY Matthew Crawley! Mary’s soulmate was and always will be Matthew (rest in peace), and Xavier is mine. In Downton reality, Mary had to go through a lot of heartache and unhappiness to land her man, not to mention her incredibly short “happily ever after.” How lucky am I to have found Xavier without all that drama?

I’ve had quite a few vexing dreams lately, and Xavier is convinced asleep-Kelsey lives in perpetual turmoil. I think he might be right! My subconscious sent me on quite a trip last night. I guess I dream in FanFiction!

Now I’ve discovered there’s a whole world of Downton Abbey FanFiction I never knew about. This could be dangerous.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Carol Reddick

    This is awesome and so typically sleep-Kelsey! You’ve always dreamed vividly and remembered all the details. Please do some sleep talking and share. Those recordings are hilarious!

    July 5, 2016 at 8:24 am
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